I just got back from Singapore yesterday after eight years of smoking Afghani hashish–cut with the menses of 72 virgins–in the back room of a Malay chemist’s shop on Ang Mo Kio to find things changed!

First there is this whole Enternet thing and then Y2K came in like a lamb and blew out like Heidi Fleiss’s birthday cake. I mean, why did I bother hiding out in the East? The world didn’t end. Burroughs couldn’t get me; he died the week I left! I swear—I have no friends.

I must say, I’m quite angry no one “informated” me about this Enternet. Exie, Orión, and CM all had many chances par avion to bring me up to download speed about electronical mail and such like. I have so much lingo to catch up on. I’ll have to find myself all over again. It’s a goddamn scandal. :(

Did I type that frowny face thing right? No, don’t tell me if I did. I’m too embarrassed already. Watching a single episode of “Three’s Company” at this point would probably put my return address in Benzodiazepine City, Xanax 90210.

If this is the new millennium, I call.

Oh, and the United States—well, New York City–was apparently attacked by Iranian Contras or something too.

Your favorite writer,

Vivian Five VI