The issue of National Geographic sitting on my desk is wrapped in brown paper, like a dirty magazine except not so dirty that it’s unwilling to print its name. A dirty magazine that is only dirty enough to give an 11 year-old a boner and only every 5th issue detailing the ever dwindling world of […]

Dear Saint Sebastian,
I have found a new patron: Bartholomew. As my public relations agent Orión would say: “You’ve may indeed have got the point but I’m aflayed you’ve missed the…” Oh, God. You can’t make me do this.

Invulnerably,
V-i-v-i-0

PS: The cops asked if I’d slipped her a mickey but I knew what put her over the […]