When grandpa Viv kicked back in ’86 on my sister’s birthday there turned out to be some money left over from the moonshining great-grandpa Viv had done to the federales during the Manhattan Science Project. So pa Viv decided it was time to liberate me from the ’77 Volkswagon van I’d inherited from my drunk […]

“Oh, what a darling little girl.”
“Thank you. He’s a boy.”
“Oh, he’s so cute. What’s his name?”
“Vivian.”
She stares and smiles and blinks. And smiles.
“Isn’t that usually a girl’s name?”
“Are you calling me a girl?”
“No, I mean. Of course not. I was just saying that all the Vivians I’ve known have been girls.”
“Are you calling me […]

So I’m playing around with new signature blocks, as the kids call them. I can’t decide—clever or cleaver?

V
VI
VIV
VIVVI
VIVVVI
V5VI
V-i-v-i-o
Thank Christ! That crazy cunt can’t remember any of that night.